If you decide to split up with your partner and terminate your marriage, you may feel a little scared of what the future will bring you and how you should act after that. Some women even feel tempted to take shocking or unexpected actions to surprise their exes and seek attention from their friends and relatives. To help you get through divorce and not lose your mind, we created this list of the most popular don’ts that women do, and do’s that you can do instead.
Don’t: call your husband an abuser if he wasn’t one
Women are often tempted to feel insulted when their relationships don’t work out. Also, they quickly forget the positive impact that the relationships made on them and remember only the negatives. Moreover, they even may perceive their past as a crueler time than it was, so think twice before you call your ex an abuser: your memory is likely to drive you the wrong way.
Do: be grateful for everything good that you had in the relationships
Gratitude is one of the most positive emotions that one can feel, so be sure you fill yourself with it often. Even in the situation of marriage dissolution, you can be grateful for the time you had with your partner. Why is this important? A divorce is a stressful event that takes a lot of energy out of people who go through it, so there is no better way to increase your levels of joy and happiness than through gratitude to your ex.
Don’t: look for ways to hurt your husband
Although the idea of revenge seems so tempting at the first sight, it shouldn’t be the one you will realize: in the long run, acting to hurt your ex will not bring satisfaction. Instead of trying to cause them harm, concentrate on the ways you can strengthen your position in court and get the most out of your divorce.
Do: care more about your well-being
Besides cooperating with attorneys who can help in making your claims strong and reasonable, consider taking care of your inner self as well. Pay attention to your meals and macronutrients intake, drink enough water, and keep up your daily activity levels high to stay healthy and positive. Fill your brain with quality food as well: read good books, listen to your favorite music and podcasts, join online and offline events to distract yourself from the divorce paperwork.
Don’t: stalk your husband on social media
Another popular piece of advice you can get when searching for divorce do’s and don’ts is to stop stalking your future ex on social media. This is reasonable: the desire to follow someone’s life online appears when you just can’t let your past go and accept that your husband isn’t yours anymore. However, stalking them will not help you move on and start a new life. Every time you stalk your husband on social media, you risk bringing more stress, anxiety, and fear to your mind.
Do: start a new hobby
To improve your mental health during divorce and keep up with the pace of living you’re used to, consider starting a new activity that will fascinate you. Don’t hesitate to learn a new language, try unusual sports, go hiking, or attend a dance class for the first time. You might feel awkward doing things you are not professional at yet but they are definitely worth your effort: your attention will get a new focus so that you could forget about your marriage failure.
Don’t: eat up your stress
This should be on top of your ‘What not to do in a divorce’ list since overeating is one of the most frequent problems that women face after trying to deal with stressful events. Starting to eat more than your body needs leads to gaining undesired weight unless you work out regularly, so think twice before swallowing that pizza while watching ‘The Sex and The City’ again. If you cannot cope with your appetite but don’t want to get larger, follow the next tip with no hesitation.
Do: exercise often or start doing it now
Whether you are a gym enthusiast or just an occasional visitor, a fitness routine can be one of the best solutions to distract yourself from the stress caused by a break-up with your partner. During a divorce what not to do is stay home and decrease your daily movement amount: such an approach will not take you far but only cause your body to store fat and contribute to your low mood. On the contrary, exercising will help you to produce serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins to stay positive and self-confident.
Don’t: teach your kids to hate their father
One of the things that women in divorce often tend to do is teach their kids to hate their fathers as revenge for the break-up. Such a strategy will not help you restore your relationships with kids but only jeopardize your kids’ perception of their father. Why would you want your kids to perceive your ex as an enemy if he loves them? After all, this is the marital relationship that failed but not the one between you and your kids.
Do: explain to them why you are getting divorced sincerely
While filling out all Washington state divorce forms and going through the trial process, don’t forget to spend time with your kids and explain to them why your marriage with their father is over. There is no need to put out all the dirty laundry unless your kids are old enough to understand that but anyway, it’s better to stay sincere with them and help them decide on their own how to perceive the situation of divorce. Trust us, your kids are smarter than you think so you will be able to find a common language with them even on such a tough topic as marriage dissolution.